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Her eyes return my gaze,
A gentle “Hello” at first glance.
Those chocolate brown coloured eyes,
So full of love and compassion.



                                                           Without a sound from my lips,
                                                                 A solitary cry escapes.
                                                           Her serene marble-like stare,
                                                            Peers straight into my soul.



I linger for that feeling once more,
Just before she flutters with a blink.
The brown sheen covers me wholly,
Softer than silk upon my skin.
This is a poem that I wrote yesterday, and I am dedicating it to :iconsophie-art:.

Oh my, this was such a pleasant surprise to wake up to this morning. I can't thank everyone enough to be even considered for a Daily Deviation, and now I feel so honored to have received one. :happybounce::squee::happybounce::squee::happybounce::squee:
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Daily Deviation

Given 2014-08-27
Suggester says, "What captivated me about this piece is how the author managed to describe something that happened in an instant, with such passion and intensity, that's worth a lifetime"

Short Poem by smith4891 ( Suggested by TheGalleryOfEve and Featured by inknalcohol )
Hidden by Owner
:iconandanteecho:
AndanteEcho Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2014  Student Writer
If by Sub-par, you mean not fancy, you are right. However, I find this poem striking in its simplicity. You don't have to use lots of big words to convey the feeling of a moment in time. I like it!
Reply
:iconloghaincarvo:
LoghainCarvo Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2014  Professional General Artist
What you see as simplicity, I see as laziness, lack of will-power and artistic flow. And big words? Sub-par is not a large word, it is six letters. If you want to endorse this mediocrity, fine. I will, and cannot stop you. I's comments are just a premier artist's opinion. Simple as that.
Reply
:iconandanteecho:
AndanteEcho Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2014  Student Writer
I never said I loved it, but I can appreciate, and I think it is rather good for a beginner poet, which he clearly is. I may not totally agree with the DD, but I can see why people like the poem. I would suggest that smith4891 edit this poem as he becomes a more experienced poet, because I agree that it could be better. I know that you are just trying to be honest, and I know from experience that constructive criticism is always appreciated. I guess I just felt the need to say something positive (I can be a little weird like that).  
Reply
:iconsmith4891:
smith4891 Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for commenting here, and when I gain more experience, I may very well edit this, and a few others as I see where things can be better visually enhanced and appropriately worded. :)
Reply
:iconandanteecho:
AndanteEcho Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2014  Student Writer
Your welcome! Also, I'm pretty sure that the guy who originally commented, LoghainCarvo, has a joke account, so I wouldn't take his comments seriously. I'm a little ashamed that I did before seeing his gallery. 
Reply
:iconsmith4891:
smith4891 Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Yeah, I guess. :XD:  Thanks for the kind words though. I will get better, I promise! =P
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Hidden by Commenter
Hidden by Owner
:iconsmith4891:
smith4891 Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much! :)
Reply
:iconcollettey:
Collettey Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I really love this. You're a far better poet than I am.
Reply
:iconsmith4891:
smith4891 Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
That is very kind of you to say, although I am not so sure. I think we are all poets deep down. If you have a heart, you are naturally poetic, maybe not in the literal sense with all the words, but your feelings are there, and our ability to share that with everyone displays that. :) :heart: :huggle:
Reply
:iconcollettey:
Collettey Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I agree with you there. It's sad that when in my language class when I said that I was a poet, people laughed, even the teacher. They laughed even harder when I said that we were all poets, and one kid said in a mocking tone "I'm sure that you're a better poet than us." At least my teacher liked my poems a little bit.
Reply
:iconsmith4891:
smith4891 Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I can't really understand how or why a teacher would encourage and participate in such a disreputable act, but I am very sorry to hear that. I have met pretty much everyone here on dA as friendly and very easy to get along with. I hope that you have having the same experiences, and I wish you luck with all of your work! I look forward to seeing what you come up with. :) :heart:
Reply
:iconcollettey:
Collettey Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I'm kind of sad about that, too. But thank you for being positive about it. :)
I've actually had a lot of positive experiences and ciric on here. The only time it's been negative is from an obvious troll. I've found new friends and art styles that I love, and even my long-lost-not-biological sister.
I really appreciate this, though. :) I'm working on another piece right now, and I think that it's one of my favorites. For some of my poetry, though, I cringe whenever I think about it. I honestly can't believe that I wrote that. *shudders* I don't like them because they don't ring true with my intent. 
Reply
:iconsmith4891:
smith4891 Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
It is my pleasure! And I am simply another novice when it comes to writing. It is a hobby, but nothing I have done professionally. With that said, you have nothing but my full support, and in time, possibly another friendship. :) :heart:
Reply
Flagged as Spam
:iconsmith4891:
smith4891 Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much! :) :heart:
Reply
Flagged as Spam
:iconsmith4891:
smith4891 Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so very much! :) :heart:
Reply
:iconbrushpuppie:
brushPuppie Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2014
Very nice! You captured the moment. So glad this got a DD, so I found and read it!
Reply
:iconsmith4891:
smith4891 Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much! :)
Reply
:iconbobricknelson:
bobricknelson Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2014  Student General Artist
Very nice!! Congrats on your dd!!!
Reply
:iconsmith4891:
smith4891 Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much! :)
Reply
:iconrandomaxes:
randomaxes Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2014
tears...just tears.
Reply
:iconsmith4891:
smith4891 Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you kindly! :) :happybounce:
Reply
:iconagonizingswordfish:
AgonizingSwordfish Featured By Owner Edited Aug 27, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Congrats on the DD! :happybounce:
Reply
:iconsmith4891:
smith4891 Featured By Owner Edited Aug 27, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much! :) :squee:
Reply
:iconagonizingswordfish:
AgonizingSwordfish Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
You're welcome :)
Reply
:iconsmith4891:
smith4891 Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much!!! :)
Reply
:iconsmith4891:
smith4891 Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much! :heart: :heart: :heart:La la la la la in love 
Reply
:iconsmith4891:
smith4891 Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I can't thank you enough for suggesting this Eve. I am really grateful! :heart: :bestbuddies: 
Reply
:iconthegalleryofeve:
TheGalleryOfEve Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:iconflyingheartsplz::iconsweethugplz::iconflyingheartsplz:
Reply
:icondragondud:
Dragondud Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2014
Cool story bro!
:iconcreepyspongebobplz:
Reply
:iconsmith4891:
smith4891 Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:lol: Thanks! :)
Reply
:icondragondud:
Dragondud Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2014
No problem dude, keep up the good work!
Reply
:iconwhiteplumfragrance:
WhitePlumFragrance Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Congrats Sir! :D
Reply
:iconsmith4891:
smith4891 Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much! :) :heart:
Reply
:iconsircassie:
SirCassie Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Such a beautiful poemSoooo Cute..Onion 

Congrats on the well deserved DD! I'm so happy for you! Success fella (Reaction) 
Reply
:iconsmith4891:
smith4891 Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so very much! :) :heart:
Reply
:iconsircassie:
SirCassie Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You're welcome! :D
Reply
:iconjodiemckinnon:
Jodiemckinnon Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank youThank you
Reply
:iconverity-of-paradise:
Verity-of-Paradise Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Beautiful.

Congratulations on a well deserved Daily Deviation :)
Reply
:iconsmith4891:
smith4891 Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much! :) :heart:
Reply
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July 20, 2014
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