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Submitted on
July 20


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Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 License.
Her eyes return my gaze,
A gentle “Hello” at first glance.
Those chocolate brown coloured eyes,
So full of love and compassion.

                                                           Without a sound from my lips,
                                                                 A solitary cry escapes.
                                                           Her serene marble-like stare,
                                                            Peers straight into my soul.

I linger for that feeling once more,
Just before she flutters with a blink.
The brown sheen covers me wholly,
Softer than silk upon my skin.
This is a poem that I wrote yesterday, and I am dedicating it to :iconsophie-art:.

Oh my, this was such a pleasant surprise to wake up to this morning. I can't thank everyone enough to be even considered for a Daily Deviation, and now I feel so honored to have received one. :happybounce::squee::happybounce::squee::happybounce::squee:
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Daily Deviation

Given 2014-08-27
Suggester says, "What captivated me about this piece is how the author managed to describe something that happened in an instant, with such passion and intensity, that's worth a lifetime"

Short Poem by smith4891 ( Suggested by TheGalleryOfEve and Featured by GrimFace242 )
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AndanteEcho Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2014  Student Writer
If by Sub-par, you mean not fancy, you are right. However, I find this poem striking in its simplicity. You don't have to use lots of big words to convey the feeling of a moment in time. I like it!
LoghainCarvo Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2014  Professional General Artist
What you see as simplicity, I see as laziness, lack of will-power and artistic flow. And big words? Sub-par is not a large word, it is six letters. If you want to endorse this mediocrity, fine. I will, and cannot stop you. I's comments are just a premier artist's opinion. Simple as that.
AndanteEcho Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2014  Student Writer
I never said I loved it, but I can appreciate, and I think it is rather good for a beginner poet, which he clearly is. I may not totally agree with the DD, but I can see why people like the poem. I would suggest that smith4891 edit this poem as he becomes a more experienced poet, because I agree that it could be better. I know that you are just trying to be honest, and I know from experience that constructive criticism is always appreciated. I guess I just felt the need to say something positive (I can be a little weird like that).  
smith4891 Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for commenting here, and when I gain more experience, I may very well edit this, and a few others as I see where things can be better visually enhanced and appropriately worded. :)
AndanteEcho Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2014  Student Writer
Your welcome! Also, I'm pretty sure that the guy who originally commented, LoghainCarvo, has a joke account, so I wouldn't take his comments seriously. I'm a little ashamed that I did before seeing his gallery. 
smith4891 Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Yeah, I guess. :XD:  Thanks for the kind words though. I will get better, I promise! =P
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